Success

 

Things you should give up if you want to be successful

 

My mother the late ‘YG’, my heroine once told me the definition of hell: "On your last day on earth, the person you became will meet the person you could have become."

Sometimes, to become successful and get closer to the person you can become, you don't need to add more things  — you need to give some of them up.

 

There are certain things that are universal, which will make you successful if you give up on them, even though each one of us could have a different definition of success.

You can give up on some of them as soon as today, while it might take a bit longer to give up on others.

1. Give up on the unhealthy lifestyle

"Take care of your body. It's the only place you have to live." — Jim Rohn

If you want to achieve anything in life, everything starts here. First, you should take care of your health, and there are only three things you need to keep in mind:

1. Quality Sleep

2. Healthy Diet

3. Physical Activity

Small steps, but you will thank yourself one day.

2. Give up the short-term mindset

"You only live once, but if you do it right, once is enough." —  Mae West

Successful people set long-term goals, and they know these aims are merely the result of short-term habits that they need to do every day.

These healthy habits shouldn't be something you do; they should be something you embody.

There is a difference between: " Working out to get a summer body" and "Working out because that's who you are."

3. Give up on playing small

"Your playing small does not serve the world. There is nothing enlightened about shrinking so that other people will not feel insecure around you. We are all meant to shine, as children do. It is not just in some of us; it is in everyone, and as we let our light shine, we unconsciously give others permission to do the same. As we are liberated from our fear, our presence automatically liberates others." —

Marianne Williamson

If you never try and take great opportunities or allow your dreams to become realities, you will never unleash your true potential.

And the world will never benefit from what you could have achieved.

So voice your ideas, don't be afraid to fail, and certainly don't be afraid to succeed.

 

4. Give up your excuses

"It's not about the cards you're dealt, but how you play the hand." ―Randy Pausch, The Last Lecture

Successful people know that they are responsible for their life, no matter their starting point, weaknesses, and past failures.

Realising that you are responsible for what happens next in your life is both frightening and exciting.

And when you do, that becomes the only way you can become successful, because excuses limit and prevent us from growing personally and professionally.

Own your life; no one else will.

 

5. Give up the fixed mindset

"The future belongs to those who learn more skills and combine them in creative ways." ―Robert Greene, Mastery

People with a fixed mindset think their intelligence or talents are pre-determined traits that cannot be changed. They also believe that talent alone leads to success — without hard work. But they're wrong.

Successful people know this. They invest an immense amount of time on a daily basis to develop a growth mindset, acquire new knowledge, learn new skills and change their perception so that it can benefit their lives.

Who you are today is not who you have to be tomorrow.

 

6. Give up believing in the magic bullet

"Every day, in every way, I'm getting better and better" ―Émile Coué

Overnight success is a myth.

Successful people know that making small continuous improvement every day will be compounded over time and give them desired results.

That is why you should plan for the future, but focus on the day that's ahead of you, and improve just 1% every day.

 

7. Give up your perfectionism

"Shipping beats perfection." —Khan Academy's Development Mantra

Nothing will ever be perfect, no matter how much you try.

Fear of failure (or even fear of success) often prevents you from taking action and putting your creation out there in the world. But a lot of opportunities will be lost if you wait for things to be right.

So "ship," and then improve (that 1 percent).

 

8. Give up multi-tasking

"Most of the time multitasking is an illusion. You think you are multitasking, but in reality, you are actually wasting time switching from one task to another " ―Bosco Tjan

Successful people know this.

That's why they choose one thing and then beat it into submission. No matter what it is — a business idea, a conversation, or a workout.

Being fully present and committed to one task is indispensable.

9. Give up your need to control everything

"Some things are up to us, and some things are not up to us." —Epictetus

Differentiating these two is crucial.

Detach from the things you cannot control, focus on the ones you can, and know that sometimes, the only thing you will be able to control is your attitude towards something.

Remember: nobody can be frustrated while saying "Bubbles" in an angry voice.

10. Give up on saying yes to things that don't support your goals

"He who would accomplish little must sacrifice little; he who would achieve much must sacrifice much; he who would attain highly must sacrifice greatly." —James Allen

Successful people know that in order to accomplish their goals, they will have to say NO to certain tasks, activities, and demands from their friends, family, and colleagues.

In the short-term, you might sacrifice a bit of instant gratification, but when your goals come to fruition, it will all be worth it.

11. Give up the toxic people

"Stay away from negative people. They have a problem for every solution." —Albert Einstein

People you spend the most time with add up to who you become.

If you spend time with those who refuse to take responsibility for their life, always find excuses and blame others for the situation they are in, your average will go down, and with it your opportunity to succeed.

However, if you spend time with people who are trying to increase their standard of living, and grow personally and professionally, your average will go up, and you will become more successful.

Take a look at around you, and see if you need to make any changes.

12. Give up your need to be like

"You can be the juiciest, ripest peach in the world, and there's still going to be people who hate peaches." — Dita Von Teese

Think of yourself as a market niche.

There will be a lot of people who like that niche, and there will be individuals who don't. And no matter what you do, you won't be able to make the entire market like you.

This is completely natural, and there's no need to justify yourself.

The only thing you can do is to remain authentic, improve and provide value every day, and know that the growing number of "haters" means that you are doing remarkable things.

13. Give up wasting time “procrastination”

"The trouble is, you think you have time" ―Jack Kornfield

You only have this one crazy and precious life. That's why you owe it to yourself to see who you can become, and how far you can go.

However, to do that, you need to ditch meaningless time wasters and stop allowing them to be an escape from your most important goals.

To do that, you should learn how to take control over your focus, attention and make the most out of your 24 hours within a day.

Remember that you will die, so never stop creating your legacy and doing the things that will enrich your life.

 

Treasure Life

 Don’t lose sight of the things that matter most…

 

__”Treasure your family love, love for your spouse, love for your friends. Treat everyone well and stay friendly with your neighbours.” (Attributed to Steve Jobs, founder of Apple).

Most people would agree that Steve Jobs is probably the greatest entrepreneur who ever lived, and the greatest tech innovator of our times. The company he founded, Apple, is the most valuable company in the world, with a market value today of nearly $750bn. Now this is more than twice the size of the South African economy, and almost a third of the GDP of the whole of continental Africa!

Apple is a phenomenal company, and will no doubt be amongst the top contenders for the first “trillion-dollar company” (expected within five years).

Steve Jobs died in 2011 at age 56, after contracting a very aggressive form of cancer. As one of the richest men in the world, he tried every possible cure that medical science had at the time, including experimental drugs; it all failed.

A friend recently shared with me something he was supposed to have said just before he died. I say “supposed” because when you read something on the Internet you have to be cautious about its authenticity. Please read these touching words with that in mind, and may I be forgiven if it is not true. It is important wisdom nonetheless.

Words attributed to Steve Jobs, before he died:

“I have come to the pinnacle of success in business. In the eyes of others, my life has been the symbol of success. However, apart from work, I have little joy. Finally, my wealth is simply a fact to which I am accustomed.

At this time, lying on the hospital bed and remembering all my life, I realize that all the accolades and riches of which I was once so proud, have become insignificant with my imminent death. In the dark, when I look at green lights, of the equipment for artificial respiration and feel the buzz of their mechanical sounds, I can feel the breath of my approaching death looming over me.

Only now do I understand that once you accumulate enough money for the rest of your life, you have to pursue objectives that are not related to wealth. It should be something more important: For example, stories of love, art, dreams of my childhood.

No, stop pursuing wealth, it can only make a person into a twisted being, just like me. God has made us one way, we can feel the love in the heart of each of us, and not illusions built by fame or money, like I made in my life, I cannot take them with me. I can only take with me the memories that were strengthened by love. This is the true wealth that will follow you; will accompany you, he will give strength and light to go ahead.

Love can travel thousands of miles and so life has no limits. Move to where you want to go. Strive to reach the goals you want to achieve. Everything is in your heart and in your hands.

What is the world’s most expensive bed? The hospital bed. You, if you have money, you can hire someone to drive your car, but you cannot hire someone to take your illness that is killing you. Material things lost can be found. But one thing you can never find when you lose: life…

Whatever stage of life where we are right now, at the end we will have to face the day when the curtain falls.

Please treasure your family love, love for your spouse, love for your friends… Treat everyone well and stay friendly with your neighbours.”

***

When I had my team try to find the original source of this quote, they came back and said they couldn’t confirm when these words were said by Steve Jobs and that many reports said they weren’t. I then asked myself, “Does this take away from this profound message about the things that matter most?”

I have reserved my comments for my afterthoughts.

 

5 BIGGEST REGRETS PEOPLE HAVE BEFORE THEY DIE!

Content Credit: Bronnie Ware – Author:
The Top Five Regrets of the Dying – A Life Transformed by the Dearly Departing.

“For many years I worked in palliative care. My patients were those who had gone home to die. Some incredibly special times were shared. I was with them for the last three to twelve weeks of their lives.

People grow a lot when they are faced with their own mortality. I learnt never to underestimate someone’s capacity for growth. Some changes were phenomenal. Each experienced a variety of emotions, as expected, denial, fear, anger, remorse, more denial and eventually acceptance. Every single patient found their peace before they departed though, every one of them.

When questioned about any regrets they had or anything they would do differently, common themes surfaced again and again. Here are the most common five:

1. I wish I’d had the courage to live a life true to myself, not the life others expected of me.

This was the most common regret of all. When people realise that their life is almost over and look back clearly on it, it is easy to see how many dreams have gone unfulfilled. Most people had not honoured even a half of their dreams and had to die knowing that it was due to choices they had made, or not made.

It is very important to try and honour at least some of your dreams along the way. From the moment that you lose your health, it is too late. Health brings a freedom very few realise, until they no longer have it.

2. I wish I hadn’t worked so hard.

This came from every male patient that I nursed. They missed their children’s youth and their partner’s companionship. Women also spoke of this regret. But as most were from an older generation, many of the female patients had not been breadwinners. All of the men I nursed deeply regretted spending so much of their lives on the treadmill of a work existence.

By simplifying your lifestyle and making conscious choices along the way, it is possible to not need the income that you think you do. And by creating more space in your life, you become happier and more open to new opportunities, ones more suited to your new lifestyle.

3. I wish I’d had the courage to express my feelings.

Many people suppressed their feelings in order to keep peace with others. As a result, they settled for a mediocre existence and never became who they were truly capable of becoming. Many developed illnesses relating to the bitterness and resentment they carried as a result.

We cannot control the reactions of others. However, although people may initially react when you change the way you are by speaking honestly, in the end it raises the relationship to a whole new and healthier level. Either that or it releases the unhealthy relationship from your life. Either way, you win.

4. I wish I had stayed in touch with my friends.

Often they would not truly realise the full benefits of old friends until their dying weeks and it was not always possible to track them down. Many had become so caught up in their own lives that they had let golden friendships slip by over the years. There were many deep regrets about not giving friendships the time and effort that they deserved. Everyone misses their friends when they are dying.

It is common for anyone in a busy lifestyle to let friendships slip. But when you are faced with your approaching death, the physical details of life fall away. People do want to get their financial affairs in order if possible. But it is not money or status that holds the true importance for them. They want to get things in order more for the benefit of those they love. Usually though, they are too ill and weary to ever manage this task. It all comes down to love and relationships in the end. That is all that remains in the final weeks, love and relationships.

5. I wish that I had let myself be happier.

This is a surprisingly common one. Many did not realise until the end that happiness is a choice. They had stayed stuck in old patterns and habits. The so-called ‘comfort’ of familiarity overflowed into their emotions, as well as their physical lives. Fear of change had them pretending to others, and to their selves, that they were content. When deep within, they longed to laugh properly and have silliness in their life again.

When you are on your deathbed, what others think of you is a long way from your mind. How wonderful to be able to l